


Ears of Deceit(Working Title)

by pinkie2054



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Abused Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Abusive Deceit, Advice appreciated, Anxiety, Anxst Fluff, Deceit is a slimy boi, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, I dont sleep enough, Ill prob add more tags eventually but idk, Im gonna stop writing now, Im too sappy to have a non happy ending, M/M, Neko Virgil, On Hiatus, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape, Past Sexual Abuse, Past physical abuse, Physical Abuse, Rape, Recovery, Remy and Virgil are best friends, Remy is awesome, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, SiB, Sorry im not good at writing, There is a lot of anxst, Unfinished, Virgil has issues, anxst, but also a lot of fluff, dont judge me, help me, neko, no editor, non-con, this is my first story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-06-02 12:58:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19441930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkie2054/pseuds/pinkie2054
Summary: Virgil thinks he’s safe from the dark sides... fromhim.But when his past finally catches up with him, when his biggest secrets come to light, will he be able to piece together what has broken? One things for sure. He won’t have to do it alone.(Summary in progress)(Unfinished -yet)(Prinxiety and background Logicality)On Indefinite Hiatus





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this story there is self-harm, abuse, violence, and non-con. There will be warnings at the beginning of each chapter. If you think that any of these things will make you uncomfortable, please click off of the story. Stay safe, guys. 
> 
> TW: Panic attack, abuse, flashback. The triggering part is encased with a line, so it’ll look like this:
> 
> Safe  
> _________________________
> 
> Trigger Warning  
> _________________________
> 
> Safe
> 
> Let me know if you think I need to add anything!

Chapter 1

**(Virgil POV)**  
Heavy rain pours down my window, creating a waterfall effect. Thunder booming outside. I’m curled up in a corner, tremblng with pure panic. Lightning strikes again, and soon after a loud _BOOM _can be heard throughout the mind scape.  
“AH!” Despite my best efforts, a fearful cry forces its way past my lips. “No no nonon no no…” I mumble, rocking back and forth, trying not to succumb to a flashback. “Not again… please…” I hear my phone buzzing, but I am immobilized by my fear.__

********

********

****__ ** **

****__……………………………………….._ _ ** **

****__ ** **

****__**(Roman POV)** _ _ ** **

Ugh! That’s a bad idea! I crumple up another paper and throw it on the ground, and run my hands through my hair. This stupid storm is giving me a creative block! I pick up my phone and scroll through my playlists. I need something to give me inspiration. I settle on my Queen playlist. I’m about to hit play when I hear a scream coming from Virgil’s room. _What the fuck? _I hit the home button and open iMessages. I open Virgil’s contact.__

  
  
__  
__  


__

****__****__ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__**The Honorable Prince Roman: Hey Virge did u hear that?** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__**The Honorable Prince Roman: Virge? Answer me ur always on ur phone ik ur seeing this** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__**The Honorable Prince Roman: Virgil im coming over ******_ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

********____********____****I pull myself out of my desk chair and open the door. I begin to walk to Virgil’s door but pick up my pace when I hear a whimper.  
“Hey Virgil? You alright in there?” I gently knock on the door. “Virge?” I put my ear against the door and hear Virgil mumbling.  
“Nonononoo not again not agaiin please nonoono..” _What the fuck? Is he hurt?!? ___  
“Virge! Let me in!” I pound on the door. I hear another scream from inside. “That’s it, I’m coming in!” I back up until I feel my back hit the wall, then I step forward and kick the door open, the wood splinters in the wake of my foot. I rush into the room to see Virgil’s quaking form on the floor. ‘Virgil!” Is he OK? I race across the room and kneel down in front of him. I reach out a hand to comfort him, and my heart breaks when he flinches away. “Hey, Virge. It’s ok. Breathe with me, ok?” He nods. “Can I take your hand?” Virgil shakily offers his hand. I gingerly take it and place it against my chest. I count out a breathing exercise that Virgil taught me. _In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8, repeat. _I do this a few times, and Virgil’s breathing slowly returns to a passable rate.__  
“Ro-roman, I-I’m s-sc-scared…” I open my mouth to respond when lightning strikes again, thunder following soon after. “AAHHH!!!!” Virgil launches himself into my arms. I hug him, holding him close, trying to protect him from the world. “Shhh. You’re safe. It’s ok. Shhhh.” Lightning strikes just outside of the house, and the resulting thunder shakes the mind palace with its intensity. I can hear Virgil’s gasp. I prepare for a scream, but he remains silent, rigid in my arms.  
“Virgil?” I lean away and look at him. His eyes are wide in terror, staring off into space. His breathing is ragged. “Virgil!” I shake him, but he stays unresponsive. “Virgil??!?” 

****__****__****____ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__****____ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__****_____________________________________________________________ _ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__****____ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__****____**(Virgil POV) ******_ _ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

********____********____********________********_My head is pounding with pain as I regain consciousness. My arms and feet sting with rope burn as I try to move. My ears vaguely register the storm outside of his lair._ **Ugh, what did I do this time?** _idly wonder._  
_I hear footsteps approaching the door and immediately go limp, feigning unconsciousness. The door creaks as it opens. “Hello, my pet.” I keep my eyes close, and try to keep my breathing slow and calm even as panic wells in my chest. “Virgil, dear, I know you’re awake. You should know by now that I can tell when you lie. So, I shall repeat, hello, my pet.”_  
_I slowly open my eyes but stare at the ground submissively. “Hello, sir,” I mumble, proud that I managed to keep my voice even and free of a stutter._  
_“Do you remember why you are down here?” I shake my head. Immediately after, pain blossoms on my cheek as my head snaps to the side. “Speak when you are spoken to!”_  
_“No, sir. I d-don’t remember.”_  
“ _Let me remind you. You left your room without permission, went to the real world WITHOUT permission, and most importantly, INTERACTED WITH THE LIGHT SIDES, **WITHOUT. PERMISSION.”** I wince as I remember my awkward interaction with the light sides_  
_Thomas was talking to them about his crush, and subconsciously summoned Virgil because he was anxious. Virgil wasn’t prepared for the summon and couldn’t resist it._  
“ _I-I’m s-sorry, sir.” The air is forced out of my lungs when sir rams his knee into my gut. I attempt to double over but my restraints keep me in place and vulnerable._  
“ _You only speak when you are asked a question, slut! Do you understand?”_  
“ _Y-yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” He punches me in the face. My teeth collide painfully with each other as my head whips backwards and hits the stone wall behind me. A whimper escapes my lips._  
“ _Don’t stutter!” I want to apologize, but I stay quiet out of fear of a worse punishment. “I’m sure that you understand why you need to be punished.” I nod my head slightly, tears slipping down my cheeks. “Good.” He reaches up to my head and pulls on my cat ears. “You are an abomination. Half animal. Pathetic excuse for a side.” I’m about to point out that he is half snake, but am cut off when he twists my ears painfully.” I whimper in pain._  
_He leans towards my ear, and screams. “YOU DO NOT MAKE A SOUND! ACCEPT YOUR PUNISHMENT_ **WHORE!”** _Pain lances through my skull, the twisting of my ears on top of the screaming create a blinding pain. The yell would’ve hurt bad enough without my ultra-sensitive hearing._  
_Deceit releases my ears, but I don’t allow myself to feel relief. I know the pain is about to get worse. I soon find out im right, as I hear the sound of a whip crack through the air, soon before my chest explodes in agony. I bite down on a yelp, knowing it would things worse. He continues to strike me with the whip, the speed and severity of the blows increasing each time. When he stops, my entire torso is red, welts appearing and blood dripping from the blows where the whip broke skin._  
“ _Maybe a few days in here will teach you your lesson.” He punches me once more before turning and storming out of the room._  
_The second I hear the door close I burst into tears, sobs wracking my body. Lightning and thunder drowning out the sound of my cries._

____

____

****__****__****____****_************** ** ** ** ** ** _ ** ** _ _ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__****____****_************______________________________________________________________________ ** ** ** ** ** ** _ ** ** _ _ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

****__****__****____****_************** ** ** ** ** ** _ ** ** _ _ _ _ ** ** _ _ ** ** _ _ ** **

“-gil, Virgil!” a desperate voice pulls me out of my flashback. I open my tear filled eyes and see Patton and Logan crouching close to me. I look up and see Roman looking down at me. He looks like he’s about to cry. I register his arms cradling me in his lap. “Hey, Virge.” I burst into tears again at the sight of them, but for a completely different reason. _I’m safe, _I remind myself. _I’m safe. _I curl into Roman’s chest and let myself cry. I sob into his chest until sleep claims me.____


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, this story did not want to be written! I had the worst creative block EVER. The next chapter should be up in the next couple of days. 
> 
> TW: Reference to abuse, reference to self harm, not eating(not due to an eating disorder), death, violence, nightmare  
> Let me know if I missed anything, stay safe guys!

**Virgil’s POV**

My head pounds as I slowly regain consciousness. I go to open my eyes, but they are glued shut, and I don’t have the energy to open them. The bright light burns my eyes even through the lids. I groggily bring my arm up over my face to protect my eyes from the evil light.  
Why is there a light? I never leave my curtains open… Confused, I begrudgingly sit up and open my eyes to investigate the unwelcome sunshine. _Hmm…_ I think, eyeing the open curtains suspiciously _why are they drawn back?_  
Suddenly, the events of last night flood my mind. The storm, the flashback, Roman.  
“Ugghhhh,” I groan, mortified, and flop back onto my bed. _They all know about my flashbacks and panic attacks they’re gonna think I’m a freak **They’re gonna hate me oh god oh god oh god OH GOD nonononNNONONONO!**_ My thoughts are cut off by a restrained and orderly knock at my door.  
“Virgil, I have been asked to inform you that lunch will be commencing in 5 minutes. Patton is inquiring about your presence. Will you be in attendance?” Logan’s monotonous voice is muffled slightly through the door.  
Lunch? I grab my phone from the nightstand and check the time. 11:55? I slept in so late! Shit shit shit!  
“Virgil?”  
“Uh, yeah, sure, I’ll be down in a minute!” I holler, scrambling out of bed.  
“Understood.” I hear Logan’s footsteps fading as he walks away. I pull my sleep hoodie over my head, revealing a torso full of marks. Cigarette burns litter my abs, torch burns on my back. Stab wounds decorate my abdomen and scars from the whip and knives cover my arms, back, and chest. The most embarrassing scars are on my arms. Dozens of neat, small, orderly cut marks cover them, all in various stages of healing. Even if I didn’t have the scars, my body is still disgusting. My ribs are clearly visible from a lack of nutrition. I am muscular but far, far too skinny. I can’t keep down much food. It’s not that I’m anorexic or anything, but I have several panic attacks a day, and it’s just better to not have anything to throw up.  
On top of all of that, I had even more things wrong with me. On the top of my head rested two fluffy, black and purple cat ears. Not only were they hard to hide, but my hearing was also sensitive, meaning I had to soundproof my hoodie. Don’t ask me how I did it, I don’t fully know either. As if that wasn’t bad enough, a cat tail sprouted from the base of my spine, long, fluffy, and black with a purple tip. I’m a monster.  
I glare at my reflection in the mirror for being disgusting. Sighing, I snap my regular hoodie into existence and tug it over my head. With a final glance at myself in the mirror, I turn and walk to the commons.

**Roman’s POV**

“Frankly the use of puns is absurd. The only thing they accomplish is making a sentence harder to comprehend,” Logan stated.  
“No, they are funny! They make people laugh!” Patton responded, crossing his arms over his chest indignantly.”  
“Correction, they make _you_ laugh.” I tuned out their bickering and just leaned back and stared into space. Patton and Logan were escalating to screeching and gesticulating respectively. I was about to butt in when I saw a mess of black and purple appear at the top of the stairs.  
“Greetings, my chemically imbalanced romance!” I greeted him loudly to alert the others of his presence.  
“Salutations, Virgil.”  
“Hi, kiddo!” Virgil blushed under the attention he was receiving. _God, that blush is precious._ I blinked. Where did that come from?  
“Hey, guys,” Virgil responded, offering a small wave and a weak smile. That smile did things to me that made my heart stutter.  
“Patton made burgers!” I exclaimed. Virgil frowned a bit at the mention of food, which in turn made Patton dim slightly, but I pretended not to notice. I have a reputation to uphold as some self-absorbed, extravagant, fanciful… prince! I have to maintain my image, no matter how… unflattering it may be. I saw Patton plaster on an even brighter smile than before, trying to mask his hurt at Virgil’s reaction to his cooking. I sighed internally. When will that soft little puffball realize it’s ok to feel not ok?  
Virgil sat down in his spot at the table, and Patton summoned him a plate and served him two burgers and a helping of watermelon. Virgil grimaced down at the food.  
A light-hearted conversation picked up amongst the group, but Roman couldn’t take his attention away from the smallest side, who picked at the food with his fork. Soon, lunch was over and Virgil excused himself from the table, having only eaten a half of a slice of watermelon.  
I sighed, knowing that saying anything would only make him defensive, and retreated to my room.

**Virgil’s POV**

I sighed, and finally worked up the courage to knock on Roman’s door after 15 minutes of holding my fist to the wood.  
“Come in!” Roman’s voice cheerily sounded through the door. I took a deep breath, and walked into Roman’s room. “Oh, hey Virge! Whatta you need?”  
“Uh… I…” Just say it you coward! “Ineedtoshowyousomething!” I blurted out.  
“What was that? I didn’t catch it.”  
“I… just… look.” I tensed my shoulders and pulled my hood back, revealing my ears. I braced myself for insults and cruel comments, but none came. I risked a glance upwards and saw Roman’s mouth agape, his eyes wide with terror. “Roman?”  
“Y-you’re a monster!” He screeched backing away from me.  
“No, Roman, it’s me…” I took a cautious step forward.  
“Stay back, you beast!” Roman yelled, summoning a sword.  
Patton walked into the room. “What’s this about beasts?” He yelped as he saw me, shrinking in on himself. “M-m-m-monster!” He screamed, pointing a trembling finger at me.  
“No, I’m not a monster, Patton, I-”  
“FALSEHOOD!” Logan appeared next to Patton. “You are a heathen! An abomination!”  
“L-logan?” Logan glared at me menacingly, pulling Patton behind himself. I turned to Patton. “Dad?” Patton just whimpered in fear and shrunk behind Logan. I whirled around to face Roman. “P-princey?” Roman has his sword raised, pointed directly at me.  
“Don’t move, fiend!”  
“Roman, I’m not-“ I was cut off by Roman lunging at me, stabbing his sword through my chest, piercing my heart. My mouth opened in shock as I stumbled, my vision flickering in and out. Roman leaned in towards me, a hateful look in his eye.  
“You _are_ a monster.” He pulled out his sword and I collapsed to the ground, drawing my final breath before fading away.

I bolted upright in bed with a scream. My sweat soaked pajama hoodie sticking to my back. I sucked in strangled gasps of air, feebly attempting to calm myself. “Kiddo?” I jumped a few inches in the air at the unexpected sound. I turned to see Patton standing in my doorway clad in a cat onesie, glasses askew on his face, hair sticking out everywhere. Upon seeing him, I broke down sobbing.  
“I’m so sorry Patton I didn’t mean to I’m so sorry I’m not a monster please I’m sorry Patton I’m so so so so sorry Patton please!” I rambled in between heart wrenching sobs. Patton carefully closed my door behind him and crawled into my bed, wrapping me in a gentle embrace.  
“Hey, kiddo. Shhhh it’s ok.” I threw my arms around him and cried into his onesie. “Shhhh.” He patted my head through my hoodie, causing me to stiffen in fear. No he can’t find out he can’t! Sensing my emotional distress, he moved his hand and apologized, holding me close to him. I pulled my arms close to my chest and gripped his onesie in my hands, clinging to him as I cried.  
“Pa-Patton?” I mumbled into his chest.  
“Yeah kiddo?”  
“Would y-you stay in here with me tonight? Please?” Patton hugged me tighter.  
“Of course, kiddo.” Patton guided me to a laying position and allowed me to snuggle into him. I sighed contentedly in between sniffles as I drifted off to the first nightmare-Free slumber I’d had in months.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to get this chapter out to you quickly to make up for the gap in between the last two chapters. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry if the paragraphs are weird, I did the last two chapters on mobile cause I’m at the lake.
> 
> TW: Self harm, violence (playful violence)
> 
> Let me know if I miss anything or if you want me to add anything to make the triggers easier to avoid. Stay safe guys
> 
> (By the way I’m open to any and all feedback, from compliments, to constructive criticism, to straight up roasting. I just want to improve my writing so if you have any tips, don’t hesitate to let me know!)

**Roman’s POV**

I yawn and stretch my back, groaning as my spine cracks in several places. I’d fallen asleep at my desk, brainstorming new video ideas for Thomas. I picked up my phone and checked the time. 7:33am. I groan and flop forward onto my desk. “Ughhhh.” I can already tell this is going to be a bad day. I pull myself out of my chair, wincing as my stiff muscles stretch. I open my closet and look at my 12 identical prince costumes.  
Why do I only own one, extra, uncomfortable outfit! A lightbulb goes off in my head as I have an idea. Grinning, I snap my fingers and summon a white T-Shirt and a pair of blue jeans. I’m due for a cheat day anyway. I slip off my pajama shirt and admire myself in the mirror. While we all start off identical to Thomas, all of us have slightly different bodies depending on what we eat and do. I am probably the most muscular among Thomas’s Sides, with a 6 pack. I strike a pose in the mirror and smile.  
Nothing wrong with a little self love every now and then. I change my clothes and pad into the commons to see what Patton’s making for breakfast. I enter the empty kitchen and look around.  
_Where is everyone?_ I idly wonder, wandering into the living room. Logan is sitting in an armchair, a book on astronomy in his lap.  
“Good morning, Roman,” Logan said without looking up from his book.  
“How did you know it was me?” I asked, confused.  
Sighing, Logan set down his book and looked at me. “I could see a flash of white from the corner of my eye, Patton exclusively wears light blue polos, and Virgil,” he paused, looking through some flash cards, “ ‘wouldn’t be caught dead’ without his hoodie. Secondly, you weigh more than Virgil and less than Patton which is reflected in the sound of your footsteps, and you aren’t bouncing on the soles of your feet from happiness, nor are you dragging your legs across the room. Ere go, Good morning, Roman.” I just rolled my eyes at him, not showing how impressed I actually was with his deduction abilities.  
“Ok then calculator watch. Where are Patton and Virgil anyway?”  
“I am under the impression that they are asleep in Virgil’s room.”  
“They slept in the same room?” Logan sent me a ‘what do you think’ look and returned to his reading. I glared at him and turned down the hallway towards Virgil’s room.  
I quietly opened his door only to have to stifle a squeal at the cutest thing I have ever seen. Patton was dead asleep in bed, glasses on the pillow next to him. Attached to him was Virgil, who was clinging to his onesie with both hands and snuggled against him curled up in a ball. Patton’s arms were wrapped around him, and Virgil was snoring softly. _This needs to be documented,_ I thought, and pulled out my phone. I snapped a photo, and much to my dismay, the flash went off. _Shit!_  
Virgil stirred, letting go of Patton and looking up at me. “What?” He mumbled, voice trick from sleep. His eyes fell to my phone which was still in the air and pointed at them. His eyes widened and he sat up straighter. “Roman. Delete. That. Now.” I shook my head gleefully at him. “I will tear the phone out of your hands Roman,” he threatened, all traces of sleep leaving his eyes.  
“You’re gonna have to catch me first!” I turned and bolted out of the room.  
“Roman you son of a bitch!” Virgil screamed as I ran away. I hurried into the common area. Logan looked up from his book, confused.  
“Salutations, Roman. Why are you run-” I didn’t hear him finish his sentence because I was full body tackled to the ground by Virgil. “Oh, salutations, Virgil.”  
“Kinda in the middle of something here, Lo!” He said as I shoved him off of me.  
“Very well, I shall be in my room if I am needed.” With that, Logan closed his book and left the room. Me and Virgil watched him leave, then locked eyes. It was on. 

**Virgil’s POV**

As soon as Logan closed his door, battle ensued. I launched myself at Roman, reaching for his phone, which he quickly moved out of reach. “Give me that phone!” I yelled.  
“Never!” God, he is always such a drama king. I got on my knees, wrapped my arms around his middle, and pushed with all my might to knock him over into a laying position. He squealed and pushed me off.  
Roman turned around to try and scurry away, and I took the advantage and grabbed him from behind and put him in a choke hold. “Concede defeat!” I said  
“Ok, ok uncle uncle!” He said in a strangled voice. He handed me the phone and I released him. I scrolled through his photos and deleted the picture from both his camera roll, and the recently deleted section. I looked up at him triumphantly, but my victorious look quickly faded into one of confusion.  
“Roman?” Roman was looking at me, mouth agape, dumbfounded. “Princey?” I waved my hand in front of his face, but his attention stayed on my face, or rather, my head. _Uh oh._ I reached up and touched my head, and as I suspected, instead of feeling the comfortable texture of my hoodie, I felt hair. “Fuck.”  
“Language!” Patton shouted from his room.  
“Uh- uh…. I gotta go!” I said, and sprinted to my room. As soon as the door was closed behind me, I soundproofed my room, and then I lost it. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” I yelled. “He knows he knows he knows oh my god OH GOD OH GOD **OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NONONONONO** ” I screamed, not even noticing when my double voice surfaced. I yanked up a sleeve of my hoodie, and summoned a razor. I cut a new line on my right arm, watching as the blood welled from the cut. _More more more MORE!_ my mind yelled at me. I complied, and cut 5 more lines directly above the first, my body humming pleasantly with endorphins. I flopped onto my bed.  
“Virgil?” It was Roman. I pushed my sleeve down over my arm, wincing as I pressed over the cuts, and un-soundproofed my room.  
“What, Princey?”  
“Can I come in?” I sighed, stood up, and unlocked the door, walking back to my bed when I heard the handle turn. I looked up at him, bracing for insults. “They’re adorable!” He shrieked, running towards me.  
I winced. “Loud.”  
“Oh, sorry,” he said in a quieter tone. “Can I touch them?” I nodded hesitantly, and he beamed. He reached forward and grabbed my ears, twisting slightly. Not enough to hurt, but it made me uncomfortable.  
“Uh…” I mumbled, feeling my ears flatten against my head slightly. Roman pulled back immediately.  
“Am I making you uncomfortable?” He asked, concern shining in his eyes  
“...no… why do you ask?”  
“Your ears say otherwise, Virge.” I blush slightly. Damn ears.  
“Well, I guess… please don’t grab my ears.”  
“Ok!” He nodded in understanding. “Can I still touch them?”  
I shrugged. “I guess.” He leaned back in and scratched behind one of my ears. I leaned into the touch unconsciously.  
“That’s so cute!” He said.  
“Shut up.” Roman’s hand moved to a different part of my ear. I purred involuntarily, blushing beet red.  
Roman stifled a shriek, remembering that my ears were sensitive. “Shut up!”  
“I didn’t say anything,” Roman said, grinning like a minx. Another purr left my throat, and I looked down at my hands, embarrassed. I noticed that some blood was starting to show through my hoodie.  
“Uh, Roman, could you grab me some breakfast? You can come back here after, if you want.” Roman beamed at the offer to come back.  
“Of course, my valiant Knight! I shall return!” He bowed dramatically, earning him an eye roll. As soon as the door shut behind him, I took off the now-bloody hoodie, and summoned some bandages. None of the cuts needed stitches, so I just summoned some antiseptic cream, hissing as I applied it to the wounds, and wrapped it in bandages. Then I walked over to my closet to pick out another hoodie. I selected one, and was about to put it on, when I felt the air shift around me. I turned, glaring at the side in front of me to hide the icy fear that flooded my veins.  
“What do you want, Deceit.” Deceit snapped his fingers, and I went limp, collapsing into his arms, conscious, but not able to move.  
“I want you,” He practically purred. I heard a door open, and a plate clatter to the ground. I watched deceit snap his fingers, and my room faded from view as we disappeared.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it’s a little shorter than normal. 
> 
> TW: Violence, abuse, graphic sexual assault 
> 
> I put a line encasing the sexual assault part, so it’ll look like this
> 
> Safe  
> ________________
> 
> TW  
> _________________
> 
> Safe
> 
> Note: that line only applies to the sexual assault, not any other trigger. 
> 
> Let me know if I missed anything, and stay safe guys!

**Virgil’s POV**

We reappeared in the dark side of the mindscape, specifically, deceits lair. Immediately, the immobility spell wore off. As a dark side, I’m stronger in the subconscious. I stumble away from deceit, matching his steps forward with my steps backward, until I hit a wall. He smiles predatorily down at me-don’t ask why he’s taller I think he wears platform shoes- making me shiver.  
“Hello, kitten.” I spit at him, defiance flooding my veins. His grin only widened. “Keep it up and I’ll put that mouth of yours to better use.” Fear wrapped its hand around my neck, strangling me as I struggled to hide my discomfort.  
_Stay strong, Virgil! They’ll come for you. Stay strong,_ I told myself, glaring at deceit. “Fuck you,” I ground out.  
“You know what, Virgil?” I hid a wince at his use of my name. He never calls me that. “You might just get your wish.” He reaches for me, and the fear that I had been repressing came back in full force. I violently flinch away from him, shaking. He summons a length of rope. He grabs my shoulders and spins me around, forcing my face into the wall. He binds my hands behind my back, tying the rope _much_ tighter than necessary.  
__________________________________

Deceit roughly spins me back around to face him. “On your knees, slut.”  
With what little will power I have left, I shake my head. “Virgil, Virgil. You always make everything so difficult.” With that he punches me in the stomach, pushing me to my knees when I double over. A shiver runs down my spine as I hear his belt slide out of his jeans. A small part of me hopes that he just wants to use the belt, but I know I won’t be that lucky. He pulls his pants down enough to let his penis spring free, then grabs the back of my head, and in one thrust, bottoms out in my mouth, making me gag.  
“Remember, no biting. If you do, I’ll just put it somewhere else.” I nod slightly to voice my understanding. Deceit thrusts in and out quickly, causing me to cough and gag helplessly as I struggle to get a breath of air.  
A few minutes later, I feel him stiffen, and I prepare to swallow. Then, he pushes all the way in, completely blocking off my airway, and comes. I swallow, having no choice. He continues to hold himself there, and I begin to struggle and twist to try to breathe. Deceit simply tightens his grip on my head. Black spots dance across my vision as he finally pulls out, zipping himself back up in his jeans as I suck in gasps of air. A bit of semen escapes my mouth, dripping down my chin.

__________________________________

“Now what do you say?” He questions.  
“Tha-thank you.” My head snaps upward and backwards as he knees my jaw.  
“That’s thank you, sir to you! My, you’re just begging to add things to your list of punishments.” I whimper quietly in terror.  
“We have awhile before your precious light sides come. I’m going to have some fun.” With a snap, the rope binding my hands is gone, but before I can struggle, he grabs my arms and forces them above my head, only to attach them to a pair of handcuffs he strung over a pipe. It’s slightly too tall, forcing me to stand on my tip toes. This is on purpose, I don’t have enough footing to squirm away, I can only dangle there.  
He snaps again, and a cart he calls his ‘tool box’ appears. I gulp at the sight of it.  
Deceit picks up his favorite knife, and smiles maniacally as he steps towards me.

**Roman’s POV**

I walk back to Virgil’s room, a plate of scrambled eggs in my hands. I open his door with a smile on my face. It quickly drops when I see a shirtless Virgil, limp in Deceit’s arms, sink out along with that snake. I barely register dropping the plate, only realizing I dropped it when it shatters on the floor. A scream tears itself from my lips. _Oh my god what happened is he ok?_ I frantically thought. I hear footsteps and whirl around to see a very concerned Patton and a very confused Logan walking down the hallway towards me.  
“Virgil… he- and then- and de… and he… and they… what he… deceit- dissape- they” I ramble, panic gripping my soul.  
“Roman. Look at me.” I look up at Logan’s commanding tone, and focus on his face “Breathe.” I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. “What happened?”  
“D-Deceit took Virgil.” Patton gasps, his hands jumping up to his mouth in horror. Tears fill his eyes. Logan doesn’t react, other than a slight clenching of his fists, and a darkening of his gaze.  
“What do we do?” Patton asked, his voice shaky. What _do_ we do? The only place he could’ve gone is the subconscious, which is a vastly large place, which is difficult to navigate, if we could even get there. But we can’t without-  
“Thomas,” I say. Patton and Logan give me matching looks of confusion. “Virgil is probably in the subconscious, and Thomas can take us there,” I explain. A look of understanding crosses Logan’s face.  
“That’s a good idea, actually.”  
“What do you mean, actually?” Logan ignores my question.  
“Let’s go talk to him.” We all sink out to speak with our host. 

**Third Person Omniscient POV**

Thomas is sitting at his desk editing the newest Sanders Sides video when Logan, Patton, and Roman appear in his living room. Thomas senses their arrivals, and turns around with a smile on his face. “Hey guys, how ar- what’s wrong?” He cuts himself off when he sees his sides’ expressions, his smile fading and quickly being replaced by a look of worry.  
Logan is the first to pipe up. “Deceit kidnapped Virgil.” Thomas face grows dark with rage.  
“That bastard!” Thomas growls. “How do we get him back?”  
“Well,” Logan begins, “that’s why we’re here.” Thomas raises an eyebrow in a silent prompt for more explanation. “We believe that Virgil is in the subconscious, where all of the dark and neutral sides live. We can’t navigate it without a guide, and we need you to bring us to said guide and to actually visit the subconscious.”  
“But, if it’s subconscious how could I go there?” Thomas asks, confused.  
“I don’t know, not everything makes sense, Thomas. We just need you to travel to other areas of your mind,” Logan says, huffing slightly when he admits he doesn’t know something.  
“Ok… who’s the guide that we need to get?”  
Roman spoke this time. “Who’s the one neutral side deceit hasn’t hidden from you?” He asks Thomas, slightly frustrated that they are talking and not finding Virgil.  
“Uh… Ohhh,” Thomas says, realization dawning on him. “Ok, let’s go. You ready?” Upon seeing three head nods, Thomas focuses, and they all sink down. They reappear in a cozy, albeit messy version of his living room.  
“Hey, gurl!” The neutral side exclaims, sipping his Starbucks excitedly. “Whatta you need boo?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re gonna be seeing more of a certain Starbucks loving someone in the next few chapters!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get intense. 
> 
> TW: Triggers include swearing, implied sexual assault(brief) implied past abuse, violence, and abuse.
> 
> Let me know if I missed any!

**Third Person Omniscient POV**

“Hey, gurl!” The neutral side exclaims, sipping his Starbucks excitedly. “Whatta you need boo?”  
“Hey, Sleep. I nee-“ The sunglasses wearing side cut Thomas off with a wave of his hand.  
“Call me Remy, babes. Sleep sounds so…” he gestured vaguely, searching for a word. “Boring,” he settled on finally, taking a big slurp from his mocha.  
“Hey, _Remy_ ,” Thomas said with unnecessary exaggeration. “I-we need your help.”  
“Finally!” Remy exclaimed. “I’ve been bored out of my mind lately! Do you know how boring watching you sleep is? I do. It’s SO. BORING!” Remy flopped onto the couch dramatically. “So, what do you need help with?”  
“We, uh… I’m not really sure…” Thomas stumbled over his words, not knowing how to explain the situation. Thankfully, Logan took over.  
“Salutations, Remy. We need your assistance navigating the subconscious. Thomas is here so that Roman, Patton, and I can get there.”  
Remy perked up slightly, his careless attitude fading slightly as he grew more attentive and observant. “Why do you want to go to the subconscious?”  
This time Roman piped up. “Deceit kidnapped Virgil.” Remy immediately lost his relaxed and joking demeanor, Starbucks vanishing as he stood up.  
“He **WHAT?!?** ” Remy yelled, anger visible in every inch of his body.  
“I don’t know where you are getting confused. I believe Roman was quite clear in his explanation, although-“  
“I UNDERSTAND what Roman said. I’m not an idiot, Logan!” Remy started pacing back and forth, adrenaline and nerves fueling his movements. “That son of a bitch! How dare he come back for Virgil, after-“ Remy was cut off by a confused Thomas.  
“Come _back_ for Virgil?” Thomas asked, perplexed. **_(Quick AN. I wrote out the plot for this before intrusive thoughts, ok? Thomas didn’t know that he was a dark side. Just go with it.)_**  
Remy momentarily stopped his pacing and looked at Thomas. “Despite how much I _LUV_ gossip, that’s not my story to tell,” he said seriously, pushing his sunglasses up on his nose, and resumed his pacing.  
“Kay, well, hate to split up this… whatever this is,” Roman started, gesturing in Remy’s general direction, “but we need to get Virgil!” Roman declared, stomping his foot slightly.  
“Princey is right.” Roman looked at Remy incredulously at the nickname. “What? I know you guys vicariously through Ann. Of course I use his nicknames!”  
“Ann?” Thomas questioned  
“Oh, that was my nickname for Virgil before he told me his name,‘cause Ann is short for Anxiety. He hasn’t been Ann for like 7 years, but I still call him that sometimes.” Remy explained. He summoned an espresso, downed it, and then looked to Thomas. “Let’s do this, bitch.” Patton crosses his arms, looking slightly affronted by the use of the word bitch.  
_Not you too, pinkie!_ Patton thought.  
**_Hey, stop breaking the fourth wall!_** Patton shrugged sheepishly.  
“Ok, so how do I take us to the subconscious?” Thomas inquired.  
Logan stepped forward. “We need to connect your thoughts to a subconscious process. Focus on your breathing. Don’t change it, or slow it down, but simply notice the inhales and exhales. Focus on that sensation. That’s where we need to go.”  
“Ummm…” Thomas looked at Logan, perplexed.  
“Yeah, how bout we use the door in my room, boo.” Remy gestured to the front door, eyebrows raised behind his sunglasses.  
“That’s would be… a lot easier,” Logan admitted.  
“Kay. Let me get ready, then we can go.” Remy flopped backwards onto the couch and started digging around in the cushions.  
“You aren’t _ready?_ ” Roman asked angrily.  
“Bitch I didn’t know we were gonna go to the subconscious!” Remy exclaimed, ignoring Patton’s protest at his cursing. Remy picked up one of the couch cushions, unzipping it.  
“What are you doi…” Thomas’s voice trailed off when Remy started pulling weapons out of the pillow. He slid a dagger into an ankle holster, strung a bow and quiver over his back, attached a katana to his hip, and held a switchblade in one hand.  
“Let’s do this.” The four others in the room just stared at Remy, mouths agape. “What? I’m not afraid to cut a bitch.”  
“Language…” Patton mumbled. Remy looked Patton dead in the eye.  
“As Virgil would say, English, bitch. Ok maybe I added the bitch part, but still.” Remy shrugged. “Alright, let’s go gurl.” He turned towards the door, gesturing for the others to follow him.  
They stepped into the unconscious. Patton and Logan stumbled slightly, and Roman paled a little. “Oh yeah, B.T.Dubs, you light sides are gonna be a little weaker over here. This isn’t your domain, boo,” Remy winked.  
“Does that mean Virgil is weaker here too?” Thomas furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.  
Remy paused. “I… I don’t think that it’s my place to say, babes.” With that, Remy turned around and began walking. “Follow me! And stay on guard! Roman, you should pull out your sword, or whatever. Never know when something’s gonna pop out at ya!” As if To enunciate his point, a side of Thomas launched himself at Remy, tackling him in a hug.  
“Babe!” The new side kissed Remy, and squeezed him tighter in the hug. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you down here!”  
“Uh, yeah… Lust, I’m kinda busy right now babe.” Remy said. “Deceit took Virgil, and me Thomas, Logan, Patton, and Roman are going to get him back.”  
Lust released Remy. “Why doesn’t he just leave him alone!” He growled, clenching his fists. “Alright, I’m coming with you.”  
“Uh, hold up,” Thomas interjected. “Who are you?”  
“The name’s Lust, though you can call me Saul. I’m Remy’s boyfriend.” **_I low key stole that name from lilfella. Link to zeir profile in end notes. Sorry lilf!_** Saul reached out a hand to Thomas. He shook it after a slight hesitation.  
“Oh.”  
“Kay, let’s go gurls,” Remy cut in. “Virgil’s kinda counting on us right now, and every second counts when Deceit-“ he cut himself off. “Nevermind, let’s just go.” Thomas and the others looked at Remy suspiciously, save for Saul, who was nodding in agreement with Remy.  
Remy and Saul started walking, Remy handing Saul a dagger that the others didn’t even see he had. They followed them down a winding path, almost getting lost several times. “Only like a half an hour left babes!” Remy called out, making both Thomas and Roman groan. “Stop bitching, you’d all die immediately if we took the shortcut, expect maybe Roman. The rest of you can’t fight for shit, so we’re going the long way round!”  
**_Time skip brought to you by me being an uncreative asshole_**  
Remy and Saul turned down yet another corner, when they all heard an ear piercing scream.

**Logan’s POV**

My heart broke slightly at the sound of a scream which no doubt came from Virgil. No matter my demeanor, I do have emotions. Our group of 6 immediately began running towards a door at the end of a hallway. Remy paused in front of it, and turned to look at us.  
“What are you waiting for!” Roman yelled.  
“Look,” Remy began, no traces of humor in his face. “I know you don’t know a lot about Virgil’s past, but I need you to prepare yourself for what you are going to see when I open this door. It’s not going to be pretty.” With that, he turned back around, and opened the door, revealing a stone staircase leading down. Roman was the first to entee, followed by Remy and Saul, then Thomas, then Patton, and finally me. We reached the bottom of the staircase.  
I knew that Virgil’s past with Deceit had been less than ideal, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight in front of my eyes. The first thing that I saw was a pair of cat ears, along with a matching tail, protruding from Virgil. But that wasn’t the most unnerving thing. Virgil was standing on his tip toes, his arms handcuffed high above his head. Something white has dripped out of his mouth and dried, making my stomach churn at the implications. Virgil’s torso was covered in blood, but I could make out some scars on his chest. His ribs were clearly visible from a lack of nutrition.  
Deceit was standing in front of him, carving something into his skin, which caused Virgil to let out another scream of agony. You could tell that his voice was hoarse. Virgil looked up and saw us, and immediately broke down sobbing. Whether from relief or shock, I don’t know. Deceit turned around, face remaining impassive as he faced us.  
We all were frozen with shock for a moment. Remy was the first to break free “You slimey son of a bitch!” He screamed as he tackled Deceit to the ground. Deceit shoved Remy off of him with some effort, only to be pinned by the person you’d least expect. Patton was hold deceit down with one hand, the other was punching him in the face .  
“HOW _DARE_ YOU HURT MY DARK STRANGE SON YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL AND I WILL MEET YOU THERE YOU TWO FACED SON OF A BITCH BASTARD!” Patton screamed, repeatedly punching deceit. I heard the tell tale crack of a broken nose, but Patton kept going. Roman grabbed Patton from behind and dragged him away from deceit. Patton struggles, still punching the air, but Roman held him tight.  
Patton went limp, and started sobbing, Roman comforting him gently, with tears of his own streaming down his face.  
I looked over to Virgil, to see Remy and Saul picking the locks on his handcuffs. As soon as Virgil’s hands were free, he collapsed into Remy, who caught him with ease. Virgil was quaking, heavy sobs tearing themselves from his throat.  
Remy put his hand on Virgil’s forehead, and closed his eyes in concentration. Virgil fell limp in Remy’s arms, fast asleep.  
Deceit snapped his fingers, and disappeared. I turned around to see Saul hugging Thomas, comforting him.  
I wanted to cry, but I needed to stay strong to tend to Virgil’s wounds. I could break down after. “We need to go to Roman’s room. It’ll be easiest to summon what I need to treat Virgil.” Thomas nodded, and closed his eyes. A few seconds later, we all sunk out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. This was a bitch to write. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Here is lilfella’s page, ze is SO talented you should check zem out: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilfella/pseuds/Lilfella


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Referenced physical abuse, scars, description of wounds, needles(stitching kind) allusion to sexual assault, homophobic slur
> 
> Let me know if I missed any, stay safe guys!

**Logan’s POV**

I rose up in Roman’s room along with Thomas, Patton, Roman, Remy, and Saul. “Roman, I need you to summon an operating table, a needle, gauze, a bucket of water, a washcloth, and bandages. I’ll summon the things you don’t know enough about to summon. Saul, Patton, clear an area for the operating table. Remy, make sure virgil stays asleep, this is going to hurt.” The aforementioned sides nodded and did as requested. I summoned an IV and stand, antiseptic/antibacterial cream, 2 units of O- blood, and dissolvable stitches.  
Remy and Thomas laid Virgil down on the operating table, and then stepped back to let me work. I hooked up the IV drip and got the blood transfusion going. I then dipped the washcloth into the water bucket, and cleaned the blood off of Virgil. Tears filled my eyes, unbidden, and the others let out sounds of distress and began crying, save for Remy and Saul. They were sad, but neither were surprised.  
Virgil had “Deceit’s Slut” carved into his chest. There were two stab wounds, both seemed deliberately in non fatal places. He had gashes running up and down his torso, and cigarette as well as general burn marks fresh on his skin. But, there were dozens of scars on his chest, as well as healed burn marks and scars you could tell were from a whip. There was an area of scarred skin where I can only assume a rib broke through the skin after it was broken. His torso looked like one large bruise from the amount of bruising that covered it. And that was only his front. His arms were littered with what I assumed were self-harm scars, all of them in various stages of healing. His ribs stood out against his tiny stomach, malnutrition obvious in his unnaturally small waist and abdomen.  
I grabbed the needle and dissolvable sutures, and stitched up the stab wounds after cleaning them with the antiseptic. I then stitched together the words carved into his chest, having to force down a tremor in my hand as I traced the horrid words with a needle. I sutured the bigger gashes on his torso, and bandages the smaller ones. I treated the more severe burns with skin grafts, which I summoned along with the necessary tools. I applied bandages to the newer self-inflicted wounds.  
“Roman,” I addressed the silently crying side. “I need your help flipping him over.” Roman nodded, and shakily stood up to help me. “One, two, three!” Roman and I flipped Virgil onto his stomach, making mine lurch at what I saw. His back was covered in dry blood. I grabbed the washcloth and quickly cleaned it away, only to gag at what I saw.  
Dozens of bleeding lashes covered his back, crisscrossing along his shoulder blades. Welts and bruises appeared where the whip didn’t break skin. Twice the amount of burns appeared on his back, all second degree or worse. Cuts that could have only come from a knife appeared sporadically, lazily dripping blood. But what made me gag were the words. “Slut,” “Whore,” “Bitch,” “Faggot,” “Monster,” “Abomination,” and words I won’t repeat even in my head were carved in his back. Only one was new. It read, “Traitor.”  
His back was much worse than his front! I should’ve assessed all of his injuries before I started treating, such a rookie mistake! I cursed at myself for my stupidity, and quickly began treating his wounds the best I could. His entire back was practically a skin graft from the amount that I applied. I checked his tail and ears and found them to be relatively unharmed, save for some singed fur.  
I flipped him back over with the help of Roman, and cleaned off the white substance from his chin, before snapping the washcloth out of existence. I had Remy pick up Virgil and bring him to Roman’s bedroom. Roman got rid of the operating table and most of the summoned materials. With some concentration, I watched Roman teleport the IV to his room. I followed Roman to said room, and once more hooked up the IV.  
Then, and only then, did I let myself cry.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really more like chapter 6.5 but AO3 doesn’t let you put that soo... here. I just wanted to get this little mini chapter out so I could make an announcement without tricking you guys into think I posted something and then have it just be an A/N. So I’m going to be posting chapters on a more regular basis. Every Sunday a new chapter will come out, I don’t know what time, but on sundays is when I will post. I might post 2 a week if I’m feeling like it, but I want to get on a more consistent schedule so I’m not just writing whenever I feel like it. This way, I can also stockpile up on chapters so if I just can’t one week, I’ll still be able to post something. Let me know if you have any questions in the comments, enjoy this little mini-chapter!
> 
> TW: Abuse, reference to abuse

**Virgil’s POV**

I scream as Deceit carves the second word into my chest, too tired to struggle. My entire world is pain. He has to be using a dull knife, they hurt way more than sharp ones, and this is the worst pain I’ve felt since Deceit gave me to Rage for a week.  
I see motion in the corner of my eye, and I look up to see Thomas, Logan, Patton, Roman, Remy, and Saul standing there. I can’t see much more because my vision blurs as I start sobbing uncontrollably. _They came…_  
“You slimey son of a bitch!” I hear someone scream before deceit gets tackled to the ground. I can make out a leather jacket through my tears. _Remy._   
Someone walks up to me and starts picking one of the locks on the hand cuffs. It must be Saul, none of the lights can pick locks. Remy scrambles up after being shoved off of Deceit, and he heads over to me, working on the other wrist.  
I hear someone screaming and look to see someone in a light blue shirt -Patton?- yelling cuss words as he pummels deceit. Suddenly, one arm falls to my side, Free of its restraints. as soon as Remy picks his lock, I collapse. Remy catches me and sits down with my head in his lap.  
I hear him muttering reassurances as he places his hand on my forehead. _NO! I can’t fall asleep they need me I can’t! They need m-_ My thoughts are silenced as my head lolls to the side and the world drifts away.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attack, reference to scars/injuries, implied abuse
> 
> Let me know if I missed anything!
> 
> By the way, I am going to start posting long chapters once a week, but because I only had 2 days to write this, it's going to be a regular size chapter, with a slightly long chapter on Wednesday. Then I will start up regularly with long chapters every Sunday at around 12:00 Central time zone. NOTE: Update times might change when summer ends.

**Virgil’s POV**

“But why hasn’t he woken up yet!”  
“Patton, for the last time, Remy made him fall asleep! The last time Remy made you all asleep you were asleep for 3 days!”  
“But that was different Roman!”  
“Sure.” I heard two people arguing, but their voices were muffled, as if Iwas listening from underwater. I tried to make out what they were saying, but the more I concentrated, the more it slipped through my fingers. I internally huffed at my annoyance from being underwater when I wanted to hear a conversation. Eventually I gave up and fell back asleep.  
The next time I woke up, I could hear normally again. I heard a voice singing a song I couldn’t remember the name of. The voice was beautiful. “ _And you’ll be in my heart, no matter what they say… you’ll be here in my heart, always._ ” As the voice sang the chorus, recognition sparked in me.   
_Tarzan,_ I thought. _Why is Tarzan here? Wait…_ I realized. That wasn’t Tarzan. That’s a Disney loving man. _Roman!_  
I struggled to open my eyes, but finally managed to pull them apart. I squinted at the bright lights assaulting them, my eyes slowly adjusting to the light. I looked to the direction of the sound, and sure enough, there sat Roman. His usually impeccable hair was a mess, and there were dark bags under ~~my prince’s~~ Princey’s mahogany eyes. He was in a too-tight white T-shirt, which any other day would’ve had me drooling, and a pair of black sweats. I idly thought about how it should be outlawed to look that good in a pair of sweats.   
I mentally shook my head, clearing my mind of the unbidden thoughts. I took in my surroundings.   
Giant-ass bed, Ornate gold bed frame, complete with a red satin canopy, large balcony overlooking the imagination. This was Roman’s room. I looked back to Princey to find him humming the final notes of the song, tears gathering in his eyes, staring dejectedly at the floor.  
I wanted to make a sassy quip about how much he missed me, but all that came out was a strangled: “Hey.” I winced. My vocal cords grated against the sandpaper that was my throat. I cleared my throat and tried again. “How long was I out?”  
Roman snapped his head up so fast I thought it might actually snap his neck. He looked at me, and the tears collecting spilled over onto his cheeks.   
_Great. You managed to make ROMAN cry by simply existing. You are truly pathetic,_ the voice in my head spat. I flinched internally, it was true, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.  
“Virgil!” Roman exclaimed, launching himself at me for a hug. I flinched instinctively away from the large object quickly coming at me, and Roman froze, somehow in mid-launch, and sat back down. “Sorry.”   
I tried to wave him off with my hand, but my muscles refused to cooperate. I tried again with words. “‘S fine. How long was I out?” Roman looked down for a moment, causing anxiety to shoot down my spine. “Roman? How long was I out?” He looked up at me.  
“1 week and 4 days…” My eyes bugged out of my head.   
_ELEVEN DAYS???!?_ my thoughts screamed at me. That’s the longest I’ve passed out since… since… right before _that_ night. I shivered slightly thinking about it. Roman noticed my discomfort   
“Can I hug you?” Roman asked tentatively. “I’ll be gentle.” I furrowed my brow at that.   
_Gentle? Why does he need to be-_ The events of last week flooded my mind. Roman finding out about my ears, deceit, the knives, the pain, the light sides , Remy’s hand on my forehead. I immediately became aware of the fact that I was shirtless. I looked down and saw that I was covered in bandages. _FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NONONONO THEY KNOW TH **EY KNOW THEY KNOW THEYHATEMEIMAMONSTERTHEYKNOWTHEYCANTKNOWTHEYWONTWANTMENONONONONO!**_   
A sudden cold pierced my hand, breaking me out of my thoughts, grounding me slightly. My breathing was still erratic, I still couldn’t see through my tears, I still couldn’t hear because of the ringing in my ears, but my thoughts were less loud. _Ok, your having a panic attack. What do you do.. What do I do… what do I do what do I- breathing exercises! Ok in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. In, hold, out. 4, 7, 8._ A lot fucking easier said than done. I struggled to get my breathing under control, but was failing. Black spots appeared in my vision from a lack of oxygen. I was going to pass out.  
I felt a gentle but firm tapping on my hand.  
 _Tap, Tap, tap, tap, pause. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, pause. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, pause. Repeat._ Four, seven, eight. I followed along the best I could with the tapping, slowly getting my breathing under control. My vision cleared, and the ringing quieted.   
I looked down at my hands. One held a mostly melted ice cube. That’s what the cold was. In my other hand, was actually someone else’s hand, which was tapping the breathing rhythm **_(Fun Fact, Rhythm is one of my favorite words because it’s the longest word in the English language without a vowel! Check the end notes for the others. Pinkie, out)_** ,   
I looked up to the hands owner. Logan’s impassive face looked back. He was trying to appear emotionless, but his free hand pushed his glasses up on his nose even though they didn’t need it, his eyebrows were furrowed almost imperceptibly, and he was blinking slightly faster than normal. He was worried. “Are you alright, Virgil?” Logan asked, his voice betraying a myriad of emotions that he was desperately trying to suppress.   
I nodded, not trusting my voice.  
“Can you tell me what triggered the attack?” I scanned Logan’s face, searching for a trace of malice or contempt. I found only concern in Logic’s sapphire blue eyes.  
“I… I- uh… Irealizedthatyouknewaboutmebeinganekoandmyscarsandiwasworriedyouwouldallhatemeandikindafreakedout!” I blurted, the sentence blurring into a single word. Logan’s eyes filled with unshed tears, and two heartbroken gasps sounded from nearby. I twisted my head to see Patton and Roman, both looking stricken.  
 _Another great performance, Virgil. You managed to make your family cry. Again._ I forced the voice to the back of my mind and focused on the people in front of me.  
“Virgil… we could never hate you!” Patton declared, voice wavering and cracking as he did his best to hold back tears.   
“I concur.” Logan nodded sagely, and made eye contact with me. “I do, however, have a significant amount of questions,” he hesitantly stated. I sighed.  
“I think I owe you guys an explanation.” My family all sat around me, serious expressions adorning their faces. I took a deep breath. “It all started in the subconscious.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's finally gonna tell them... I guess you'll have to wait till Wednesday to hear Virgil's backstory!
> 
> Favorite words:
> 
> Rhythm - It's the longest word in the human language without a Vowel (Y only counts as a vowel if it's pronounce with a long E or a long I, not an "eh" or "ih" sound)  
> Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis - The longest word I can spell, pronounce, and define (It's basically a lung disease that you get when really small dust particles get in your lungs)  
> Hijinx - It has 3 dotted letters in a row  
> Queue - For two reasons 1) It sounds like 1 letter but it's spelled like 5, 2) It has 4 (silent) vowels in a row  
> Worcestershire - It's an inside joke you wouldn't get it if I told you


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before the A/N, I want to say happy birthday to locko! They told me in the comments of the last chapter that today (Wednesday the 17th) is their 18th birthday! So happy birthday, locko! I hope that your first day of attempting Adultery goes well! Anyway, here's the A/N.  
>   
>   
> This chapter gets dark. I burst into tears twice while writing it, so just prepare yourselves.  
> TW: Physical and Verbal Abuse, Panic attack, self-harm, and Sexual Assault. The sexual assault, as usual will be blocked with a line, so itll look like this:  
> Safe (But still possibly triggering for other reasons )  
> ________________________________________________________  
> TW: Sexual Assault  
> ________________________________________________________  
> Safe (But still possibly triggering for other reasons)  
>   
> Let me know if I missed anything, and stay safe you guys!

**Virgil’s POV**

_Everything was cold. My teeth chattered loudly in the silence. I forced my eyes open and saw… well… nothing. I could see grey concrete beneath where I was sitting, with my knees to my chest, but beyond that, everything was foggy._  
_I spotted a yellow eye, staring at me from through the fog. “Who-who’s t-there?” I asked, stuttering from both fear and the cold._  
_The eye in question came closer. A figure stepped through the fog, the misty air parting in their wake. “The namesss Deceit.” The teen said, hissing his “S”s slightly. He appeared to be about 16 years old, dressed in a yellow and black suit, a matching black bowler hat, and a black cape. A devilish smirk overcame_ ~~the teen~~ Deceit’s face, twisting his features. Half of his face was covered in scales, matching his one yellow eye.  
_Every instinct in me was screaming **DANGER DANGER DANGER! RUN! NOW!**_ _but I stayed put._  
_“What’sss your name, kitten?” Deceit asked, looking at me almost condescendingly. I furrowed my brow in confusion._  
_“Kitten?” I questioned. “Why kitten?” Deceit looked at me as though I was the dumbest person he ever saw. I shrunk in on myself slightly in embarrassment. He snapped his fingers, and a handheld mirror appeared in his hand. He gave it to me, and I looked at it, eyes widening. There, on the top of my head, were two, fluffy, purple and black cat ears. I glanced down to reveal a poofy black tail with a purple tip._  
_I looked back up at Deceit, puzzled. “Why do I have cat ears?”_  
“ _Because you’re a monster, my pet.” I flinched, tears filling my eyes._  
“ _Why are you here?” I asked suspiciously, my hackles raising slightly. Deceit looked down at me and cocked an eyebrow._  
“ _I’m here to help you.” He waved his hand, and a little image of a teenager appeared in the air. “This is Thomas, our host. You and me are both different sides of Thomas. I am deceit, as you may have guessed, and you are anxiety.” I examined the picture of this Thomas, and compared him to deceit. They looked almost exactly the same. I looked down at the handheld mirror. My face was younger. Smaller._  
“ _Why am I younger?” I asked, looking back up at the older side._  
“ _My, my, not as dumb as you look.” I winced a bit at the insult. “You are… different, Anxiety. Thomas’ anxiety has worsened over the years, so unlike all of the other sidesss, you are younger. You’ve been sitting here in the subconsciousss for four yearsss. I found you, and I’m here to take you to your new home.” I narrowed my eyes slightly. Something about what he said seemed… wrong. But, I had no reason not to trust him, so I pushed my instincts aside._  
“ _Ok!” I chirped, standing up slowly on shaky legs._  
_“Very good, little one. Sssay, what iss your name?” I hesitated to trust this stranger with the one thing I knew when I woke up, but his narrowing gaze was enough to get me to answer._  
_“Virgil.”_  
_Deceit scoffed. “Virgil, that’s a stupid name.” I tensed. I thought my name was kind of cool… I guess I was wrong. “I’ll do you a favor and just call you Anxiety.” I relaxed immediately. Thank god he wasn’t going to call me that. I didn’t want to be made fun of. Deceit reached out his glove-clad hand, and I took it, having to reach up a bit to reach it. He was so much taller. But, I guess that made sense. I was only four, and he was 16._  
_Deceit began to walk down the stone hallways, the fog clearing as he passed. I clung to him, afraid of getting lost in the darkness. He told me about a lot of things as we walked. He explained how there were other sides. The dark sides, which him and I were - according to him - included me, Deceit, creativity - Remus, and Rage - Ash._  
_He told me about the neutral sides, which were functions as opposed to personality traits. There was Sleep - Remy, Romance (Who will later become lust) - Saul, Loyalty - Arthur, a therapist - Emile, and a few others deceit hadn’t met yet. They also lived in the subconscious with the dark sides._  
_Deceit also told me about the so called light sides. Apparently there were three. Morality - Patton, Logic - Logan, and the stupid side of Creativity - Roman. He told me that they were evil. That if I went to them, they would hate me. I didn’t understand why people would hate me before they even knew who I was, but I was quickly learning that Deceit doesn’t like questions._  
_Soon, we arrived at a painted black door. Deceit released my hand to open the door, and I immediately grabbed on tighter and clung to the arm, terrified of being sucked into the fog._  
_“Don’t be a baby, Anxiety.” I looked down, embarrassed, and lowered my hand, my tail coming around so I could grab it instead. I clutched the fluffy fur, using it to calm me down. Deceit frowned at the hand holding the tail, but didn’t comment. He swung the door open, revealing two more nearly identical people. One had a mustache, who I assumed was Remus, and that meant the other was Ash._  
_Remus was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a black T-shirt with a green sword emblazoned on it. There was an intricate design that I couldn’t make out. Ash was wearing a plain white T-shirt and a pair of jeans. They both looked up upon seeing me enter. Remus’ face twisted into a terrifying grin, and Ash’s shown with interest and annoyance._  
_“H-Hi,” I mumbled nervously, wringing my tail in my hands. “I’m Vir-Anxiety.” I winced at my almost slip up, but preened at the look of pride in the yellow side’s face at my recovery._  
_“Why hello, dear Anxiety!” Remus stood up, bowing dramatically. I’m Thomas’ Creativity! My name is Remus, but you can call me The Duke.” Both Deceit and Ash groaned at the nickname, Deceit slapping his hand to his face, and Ash punching the table in frustration._  
_“Would you quit with that stupid nickname, Remus?” Ash growled, before turning to me, eyes softening slightly. “I’m Ash, but I prefer to go by rage.” ~~Ash~~_ _Rage held his hand down to me, and I shook it hesitantly. He laughed at my light grip. “I like this kid.” I looked back to Deceit, who was smiling at me. If I had known better, I would’ve known that what I thought was joy in his eyes, was actually malice._  
I sighed, looking up at Roman, Logan, Patton, and Thomas, who were gathered on the bed around me.  
“The first few weeks that I lived with _them,_ they were… nice. At least, to a certain extent.” Patton rubbed my arm reassuringly. “Remus and Ash were really kind and welcoming. Remus scared me a little, but that really wasn’t his fault, and Ash would get angry, but he physically couldn’t help it. He did the best he could to not take out his anger on us, but his nature would get the better of him.” Logan nodded sympathetically, encouraging me to keep talking. “Deceit, on the other hand, was never as kind.”  
_”Anxiety, you can never do anything right!” Deceit yelled, glaring at me. I looked down at the ground, ashamed, staring at the shards of glass from the cup I dropped while washing the dishes._  
_“I-I’m sorry, Deceit,” I murmured, shrinking in on myself slightly. He just rolled his eyes._  
_“Just clean it up!”_  
_“Bu-but I-I don’t have anything to clean it up with…” I said confused, risking a glance up at Deceit. I immediately regretted it upon seeing the fury in his eyes._  
“ _You have a pair of hands, don’t you?” I nodded slowly. “Then get to work! I’m going to leave, and if this isn’t clean when I get back, you’ll regret it!” I immediately dropped to my knees, wincing at the glass that scraped my skin. I heard his footsteps leaving the kitchen, and I got to work picking up the shards and placing them in the palm of my hands. Tears sprung to my eyes when the glass bit into my skin._  
I idly traced the barely visible scars on my palm. “The…” I hesitated. “abuse started off like that. With it just being verbal, him never actually doing anything. That changed when Thomas and the others were 18, and I was around eight.” Logan opened his mouth, perplexed. “I aged differently, don’t ask.” The logical side closed his mouth, nodding. “I was cleaning up after a party deceit had had with the others.”  
_The smell of beer and weed assaulted my nose as I cleaned up empty beer bottles. Why did Thomas go to that party in junior year! Now they know to summon beer and pot. Deceit gets so much angrier when he’s drunk._  
_“Hey, Anxiety!” a slurred voice called from the doorway. I looked up to see deceit, wasted and stoned, leaning against the doorway, holding an empty beer bottle in his hand._  
_“Hello, sir.”_  
_“Why is there such a big mess in here! I thought I told you to clean it up!”_  
_“I-I’m cleaning it right now, sir. You only told me 20 minutes ago,” I responded._  
_“Are you talking back to me?” I shook my head frantically._  
“ _N-no, sir.” I stopped cleaning for a moment to sit on my knees and lower my head submissively. Wrong move._  
_“I didn’t say you could stop cleaning!” Deceit yelled. I saw his hand swinging through the air before pain exploded in my skull, my head snapping to the side. I could feel the hand shaped bruise appearing on my cheek._  
_“S-sorry, sir,” I turned to keep cleaning, only to be stopped by a knee to the face._  
_“Stay still!” I became a statue, freezing in my tracks despite the pain radiating through my face. A foot hit my ribs, knocking me onto my side. The kicks rained down faster, agony becoming my existence. I didn’t understand why this was happening. What had I done?_  
_A particularly painful sensation danced through my back, and I realized that Deceit had smashed his beer bottle on my back, the glass cutting through my skin. After an eternity, he stepped away. “Clean up this mess, Virgil.” That was the first time he ever used my name._  
Built up tears spilled over my eyes, the dam was broken. “Can I touch you?” _Roman._ I nodded shakily, and a pair of big, strong arms enveloped me. I turned into the embrace, and clutched his shirt, crying into the material. “Do you need to stop?” I shook my head. I have to get this out.  
“Thomas was 20 and I was 11 when everything got so much worse.”  
_I snuck into the kitchen after I was sure everyone had gone to bed. Deceit had cut me off from food for a week, and my hunger finally had overpowered my fear. I pulled open the fridge door and grabbed some leftovers from last week. It was a little spoiled, but I needed to take something they wouldn’t notice was gone. My bruises protested the movement as I pulled the food from the back of the fridge._  
_I was halfway through the meal when Deceit showed up. I was too focused on eating quickly to notice the light footsteps coming down the hallway. “What do you think you’re doing?” Deceit growled, the voice sending shivers down my spine. My head snapped up to see Deceit, looking down at me with daggers in his eyes._  
_“I-I’m sorry, si-” Deceit cut me off_.  
“ _Don’t you dare speak!” He screamed. “No matter what I do to discipline you, you never seem to learn! Looks like I need to come up with a different sort of punishment.” His hand went to his belt, sliding it from his slacks. I faced away from him, assuming the position for a beating. “Now, now. None of that. We are going to try something different.”_

_____ _

__

_______________________________________________________________

_I didn’t understand what he was saying, but my gut was telling me to run, and for once, I listened. I stood up and bolted for the door, only making it a few feet before an arm wrapped around my waist, trapping me. Deceit tsked. “You never learn.” He grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and dragged me out of the commons, through the hallways of the subconscious, and into his lair. He shoved me down the stairs and onto the cold concrete.  
I scrambled backwards till I hit the wall, and looked up to Deceit, shaking. Deceit gripped my shoulder with his hand, and spun me around to force my head into the wall. I heard the zipper of his jeans, and instinctively struggled against his grip, but he held me tight. I felt my own pants being forced down my hips, and my sobs turned to screams as it fully hit me what was about to happen. I cried helplessly as he pushed into me, taking my innocence once and for all. _

______________________________________________________________

My monologue was halted by the sudden panic that engulfed me. The arms embracing me changed from a shield to a cage, and I struggled out of them. They quickly released me and I violently flinched, expecting a blow. When none came, I scrambled away from the arms’ owner, and felt myself fall before my butt hit the floor. I continued backwards, away from the voices saying my name, my mind screaming **DANGER DANGER DANGER!** My lungs burned.  
Why did my lungs burn? Oh, I wasn’t breathing. I tried to take in a breath, but all I felt was the burning in my lungs. _Why can’t I breathe?_ It must be Deceit. I don’t feel hands, but he must be choking me. My own hands went up to claw at my throat, trying to rid myself of the thing constricting my breathing.  
“I’ll be good I’m sorry **I’m so sorry please don’t not again please I’m sorry not again!** ” I heard the echo of my demon voice, but everything was so far away. I felt someone touch my knee and I screamed, trying to shrink in on myself. _I can’t breathe I can’t breathe make it stop!_ I felt someone trying to pull my hands from my throat. Why would they do that I need to breathe! My clawing became more frantic because I couldn’t breathe and I need to breathe! My already blurry vision started to flicker in and out from a lack of oxygen.  
I heard a sound, and vaguely registered it as me screaming before my vision went dark, my body went limp, and my grip on reality loosened and slipped away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... That was dark. Also, I made a posting schedule to help me write more consistently and stockpile chapters in case I'm not motivated to write one week, but I worry that was a mistake because I am a MAJOR fucking procrastinator, so I think that I'll just end up writing entire chapters on Saturday's (Or in this case Tuesday) or even on Sunday mornings... but, I'm gonna try not to do that XD. So, we'll see. Also, let me know if you like the longer chapter format (Note: this is a shorter chapter because it's a continuation of the Sunday chapter, normal chapters will be anywhere from 3,000 to 5,000 words) or if you would prefer more frequent shorter chapters. I don't care either way, so just let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attack, self harm, brief mention of physical/sexual abuse.
> 
> Sorry, I know this chapter is short. It's really just a filler because I'm trying to decide how angsty I want to make this story, and whether I want to do a happy ending or not. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do a happy ending, but I haven't decided how much angst to put before it happens. Fair warning, I'm leaning towards more angst. So... prepare yourselves, I guess.

**Patton’s POV**

I listened to Virgil describing his abuse, forcefully shoving down the sobs that threatened to escape my throat. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, but I aggressively wiped them away so Virgil wouldn’t see.  
I gently rubbed his arm when he got a little choked up, silently encouraging him to continue.  
When Virgil started describing the first time Deceit… sexually assaulted him -god the word is so hard to say even in my head- I gave up on stopping the tears. I looked around and saw Thomas, Roman, and even Logan in similar states of distress, tear tracks stained on their cheeks, being solidified by the repeated teardrops making their way down their faces.  
All of a sudden, Virgil tensed up, and his eyes got a faraway look. Virgil struggled out of Roman’s arms, flinching when he removed them. I watched helplessly as Virgil scooted backward off the bed, terror in his eyes, as he tried to get away from us.  
Sobs tried to force themselves through my throat as Virgil’s hands went up to his throat, scratching it desperately. I wanted to go to him but I was frozen. Thomas anxiously called out Virgil’s name, trying to get his attention.  
“I’ll be good I’m sorry **I’m so sorry please don’t not again please I’m sorry not again!** ” He screamed, tears streaming freely down his face as his eyes darted back and forth, looking at nothing. Thomas flinched at the double voice  
Roman got up and knelt in front of Virgil, putting his hand on Virgil’s knee. He retracted it after Virgil let out a pained whimper and curled in on himself.  
“He’s not breathing,” Logan shakily informed us. “And if he continues to claw at himself he could cause scarring.” Romans’ eyes widened at that statement, and he attempted to pry Virgil’s hands from his throat.  
My sobs finally escaped, wracking my still immobile body. Virgil tensed against Roman’s touch, scratching more frantically as I watched him desperately struggle to suck in a breath of air.  
Virgil let out an ear-piercing scream before his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he went limp.  
The spell seizing up my muscles was lifted, and I flung myself at Thomas, sobbing into his shoulder. I would’ve gone to Logan, but at this point he was crouching next to Virgil’s prone form, treating his wounds.  
Thomas wrapped his arms around me and tucked his own head into my shoulder, and we held each other as we cried. Soon, another pair of arms smothered us, and Roman was in our group hug.  
We all laid back on Roman’s bed, sniffling, comforting each other the best we could.  
An indeterminate amount of time later, I felt the weight on the bed shift and looked up to see Logan collapsing onto it, his usually pristine look disheveled, diving face-first into the duvet. I saw his body heave with inaudible cries.  
We laid there for a little over a minute before Roman and I felt the air shift. We glanced at each other, confused, and looked up to see a rare sight. There, right in front of us, was Remy, sans sunglasses, crouching next to Virgil. He glared up at us accusingly.  
“What the fuck did you do to him!” This startled Thomas and Logan to a sitting position, and we all looked at the leather-clad side.  
“He had a panic attack, possibly even a flashback. This triggered him to scratch his neck and throat rather aggressively, I assume in an instinctive attempt to get in a good breath of air, as he was hyperventilating. Then he promptly passed out form a lack of oxygen,” Logan explained, the slight tremor in his voice the only indication of any emotion.  
“Yeah, I figured that. I’ve seen enough of his panic attacks to know what the aftermath looks like.” All of us narrowed our eyes suspiciously at the multiple messages behind that statement. “What I’m asking is, what did you guys do to cause this?”  
“Virge was telling us about his past with the dark sides-deceit in particular- and triggered himself. I think,” Thomas spoke up.  
Remy’s eyes simultaneously hardened and softened- which I didn’t even know was possible- and nodded grimly. “Alright. Well, I’m taking him with me for the rest of today, don’t even think about following us, Thomas.” Remy glared at the aforementioned person, who nodded after a moment of hesitation and an eyebrow raise from Remy.  
“Why?” Roman asked. “Why can’t we come with?” Remy turned his stare to Roman, who visibly paled at the fire in the other side’s eyes.  
“Because,” Remy drawled, “he’s not going to be feeling too great after… what, two panic attacks in one day, and you all are gonna ask him a bunch of questions he’s not ready to answer. I’m talking to you, _Logic_.” Remy leveled his gaze at the tie enthusiast. “He’ll be back tomorrow if he wants to.” With that, Remy sunk out with Virgil in his arms, summoning a Starbucks as he went.  
“What did he mean by, ‘I’ve seen enough of his panic attacks?’ I didn’t even know that they knew each other until we went to him for help,” Thomas asked once Virgil and Remy had disappeared from view.  
“Remy and Virgil are like, best friends, Thomas,” Roman supplied. “They go way back.” Logan and I nodded in agreement.  
Thomas flopped back onto the bed, rubbing his eyes with his hands. Logan, Roman and I followed suit. Exhaustion from the past week and a half finally caught up with me, and my eyes drifted closed as I fell asleep.

**Remy’s POV**

I grabbed a pair of sunglasses as soon as we got back to my room, putting them on as I cradled Virgil. A confused looking Saul stood in the stairwell, hair disheveled from sleep.  
“Why is Virgil here?” He questioned.  
“He had a panic attack and passed out. I took him from the rays because they would just freak him out with their questions.” Saul nodded sympathetically, looking down at the shirtless side in my arms.  
Saul furrowed his eyebrows and wordlessly snapped. I felt Virgil shift slightly and looked down to see that he now wore a purple T-shirt and his favorite patchwork hoodie. He was also now in a pair of black, ripped skinny jeans, rather than the sweatpants the lights had dressed him in. “Let’s get him up to the bedroom. He needs a safe place to relax for a bit.” I stood up, lifting Virgil with me. I frowned at how light the youngest side was in my arms.  
I sunk into my bedroom and laid Virgil down on my bed, covering him up with the blankets. I turned to Saul. “Let’s give him some space. I doubt he wants to wake up surrounded by us.” Saul nodded in agreement and reached out his hand. I took it, and we walked out to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knowwwwwww. This wasn't a great chapter, and I'm really unhappy with it, but no matter how many times I re-write it, it stays just as clunky and awkward as the first time I wrote it... so I just decided to say fuck it and post. I _promise_ the next chapter will be longer. it should be out next sunday.


	11. A/N

Hey guys... bad news. I’m going to be putting this story on hiatus. Indefinitely. I’m sorry, I know that you guys were really into this, but I want to be able to put the best possible content out there, and I can’t do that with this story. At least right now. I wanted to write a fic, and I shoved like five different things into one. Virgil being a neko, abuse, prinxiety, an OC, remy, Virgil having anxiety... it’s just too much stuff, I have too many cooks in the kitchen. I feel like I’m ignoring things that I’ve made into a central part of the storyline. I literally haven’t even brought up Virgil’s neko-ness since they rescued him from deceit, Remy is sloppily written into the story, there hasn’t been a hint of logicality... I just feel like I’m failing you guys. And it doesn’t help that I have like 5 other story ideas buzzing through my head that my fingers are begging to write... I just can’t give this fic the effort and work that it deserves, so I’m putting it on a (hopefully) temporary hiatus. I’m so, so sorry, feel free to scream at me in the comments, and roast me or just full on insult me. I am going to be writing on AO3, but I won’t be continuing this story for a little while... I’m sorry guys...   
well, that was all I wanted to say, so... pinkie out, I guess.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... Hi. This fic is still technically on hiatus.... ik your wondering why there’s a new chapter... i Have really bad writers block on [TSIBTTTIH(WT)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19993981/chapters/47338789) so I’m writing more of this cause I’m procrastinatin and just avoiding that. I’ll probably update [TKAA(AW)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134390/chapters/47699623) as well soon cause I just am not having ideas for how to write the next chapter of that fic so... you guys get a chapter!!! (Yes That was a shameless self promo for two of my other fics if you have a problem with that you can go fuck right off)

**Third Person POV**

Virgil’s head pounded as he came to, groaning at the pain in his skull. He took a few deep breaths to cope with the pain, and then opened his eyes. He squinted at the bright, monochromatic white room of his best friend, relaxing into the soft covers as he realized where he was. _What happened?_ he thought, frowning.  
He dragged his hand down his face, and swung his legs over the side of the bed, standing up. He stumbled slightly, but found his footing and left the comfort of Remy’s bedroom.  
Virgil trudged down the staircase to see Remy and Saul cuddling on the couch, Remy casually sipping from his travel coffee mug. _Relationship goals,_ Virgil snorted internally at the thought that crossed his mind.  
“Hey, babes!” the coffee-wielding trait greeted him, waving half-heartedly before dropping his head back onto Saul’s chest. Saul greeted Virgil with a subtle head nod, which Virgil returned,  
“Hey, Rem.” Virgil paused at the bottom of the staircase. “Hey, not that I don’t like seeing you, but why am I here?” I could feel Remy looking at me through his sunglasses, even though he didn’t move his head.  
“Gurl, you don’t remember?” he asked Virgil incredulously. At Virgil’s hesitant headshake, Remy elaborated. “Well, you were finally telling The Rays about your past, and you got triggered, had a panic attack, and passed out. I felt you pass out and came and brought you here.”  
Virgil furrowed his eyebrows for a moment before they shot up, eyes widening. “Fuck.”  
Remy snorted and Saul huffed out a laugh, which in turn made Virgil grin. He loved how they could joke around with him, even when they knew so much about his past, even when they saw him at his lowest. They didn’t treat him as fragile, which Virgil appreciated. It always lifted a weight from the room when they laughed, even if it was at something that should’ve been serious.  
“Is it a touch or a no-touch day?” Remy asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Virgil thought for a moment, taking stock of his body.  
“It’s ok, but let me know before you touch me.” Remy and Saul nodded in unison before Remy patted the couch cushion next to me.  
“Then what are you waiting for, get on over here!” Virgil’s grin widened, and he practically leapt onto the couch to curl into Remy’s side. “Im gonna put my arm around you, Virge.” Remy waited for Virgil’s nod before he draped his arm across Virgil’s back, gently pulling him closer.  
“So,” Virgil began, “what’re you guys doing?” Saul spoke this time.  
“We were just talking. Do you want to watch Steven Universe?”  
“Only if I can paint your nails,” I bargained.  
‘Bitch, yes! But I get to paint yours too.” Remy said, his chest vibrating with the words, making Virgil relax further into Remy’s arms.  
“Deal.”bedroom.  
**_Time skip brought to you by Crofters Jam_**  
“Stop moving, you’re going to make me mess up!” Virgil complained, tightening his grip on Saul’s hand. Saul grumbled unintelligibly.  
“I didn’t even want my nails done!” He grumbled.  
“Bitch, too bad, we’re doing them,” Remy spoke, working intently on Saul’s other hand.  
“Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you,” Saul mused, shifting in his seat and earning a glare from Virgil.  
“You love me!” Remy chirped, adding intricate details to his ring finger.  
“That I do.” A peaceful silence fell over the room as they worked, the TV fading into the background.  
Virgil’s ears slowly pressed against his head, his tail coming to wrap around his midriff.  
“Guys?” Remy and Saul raised a questioning brow at him. “What if they hate me now?” He whimpered, a tear sliding down his cheek. “They know about how gross I am now and they’re gonna realize that they should just get rid of me and I **don’t want them to because I like it th-”**  
Remy cut him off. “Babes, they care about you. I promise. And if they kick you out, we,” he gestured between Saul and himself, “will murder them and you can move in with us!” Virgil snorted, wiping away his tears with his tail. Virgil snapped away the nail polish he’d been holding, apparently finished with Saul’s hand. Virgil then ducked under Saul’s arm and laid his head in his lap.  
A few minutes later, when the nail polish had dried, Saul began carding his fingers through Virgil’s hair, earning a small rumble from the smaller side.  
The tip of his tail flicked lazily from side to side, happy purrs emanating from his chest.  
Remy finished Saul’s other hand and, with permission, snuggled up against the pair on the couch. They all stayed there for about a half an hour, watching the show contentedly.  
Eventually, Virgil’s tail flicked in irritation, and he sat up with a huff. “I should probably go talk to them,” he mumbled, scratching at his arm absentmindedly, picking at some scabs.  
“Can I touch you?” Remy asked. Virgil nodded, and Remy slowly took Virgil’s hand and guided it away from his arm, giving it a light squeeze. “You got this, Virge.” Virgil smiled at his best friends before giving them his signature two-fingered salute, sinking out without another word.  
Remy sighed, collapsing against Saul’s chest as he waved his hand, turning off the TV. “He’s been through so much,” he said into his boyfriend’s shirt.  
Saul’s arm came up to rub Remy’s back comfortingly. “I know, Rem. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Point out any typos! :P sorry again that you can’t expect regular updates gain :/


End file.
